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[SMALL THOUGHT] I Think Politic is Just Like Depression

For a start, this post will not specifically address the most HIP and TRENDY political situations happened in Indonesia, it is more or less just a wistful thinking.

I’m not a fan of political world, to begin with. Politics are something that can only be understood when you are involved and invested greatly in it. As a mere commoner, all of these and those going in political stage is almost like an act; a theatrical happening.

However, at this particular afternoon, I stumble upon this video that talked about depression. How this person handle her depression well enough to live further despite all the unfortunate circumstances. This sounds horribly disconnected with politics but, strangely, it’s not that disconnected inside my brain.

depression-01

Depression is something that wormed inside your head. It’s slick, it’s slippery, also vicious. When you get under its veil, every single thing in this world will be robbed from their color and you will feel very alone, very sad, very unworthy. If this happened for a long time, it’s not uncommon to think about suicide.

Politics, in the other hand, wormed up inside a country and also became a veil that you can’t get rid of. Because once they started, everything will fall like and endless play of domino stacks. When you get offended, you offend back. When you get attacked, you attack back. There are hardly any other way. Do you think a country will destroy itself when its get out of hand? Does anybody will go out and wipe out the entire civilization to get rid of this?

As this Youtuber talked about the depression she still need to overcome, she also said that while you can suppress the bad thought when depressed, you cannot get rid of it completely. Even if you get therapy and declared clean, it can always come back to you as you encounter another frustrating event in your life. This is why, rather than denying that you have a depression, it will only benefit you if you accept the reality that you have a depression and you accept to live with it forever. So, trying to get rid of it will not get you any good, it will only drive you to another insanity. Instead, try to formulate the best way to RESPONSE when it happens.

depression-02

It needs practice, a lot of practice, but you cannot give up because this is the life that you live. That is in anyway just like me, a mere commoner, who live in a country with hot-and-cold political situation; to small to just go there and put balance in everything. I hardly understand the issues, I hardly want to even read the news because of that. However, I accept that it’s something that is bound to happen in any country. I think, it’s the perk of being in a higher ground: being a politician is, I mean. The perk of being in a lower ground is, of course, ignorance. HA.

Well, you know, what we need to practice more is how we should stop to be provoked by this political issues; to see how a problem stood the ground from many angles. This is the hardest thing to do because you will find media blowing the news (or not-so-news) around that make us confused whether we need to believe or not. I even have got to this point where I read news as if it’s a novel. I never consider it true because I don’t see it with my own eyes and hear it with my own ears. There are always a chance that the news are made to defame character. So rather than believing in them, I read them as a supplement; something fictional based on true story. I play detective by seeing it from any angle, putting up all the puzzle on my own.

depression-04

Indonesia is not bad, I think. I have long started to accept that I live in this kind of country, in this kind of world. The only thing that I can do is to see the positive side of everything. How do you stay insane with all of this crazy stunts? How do you cope with all the news and hoaxes in your country?

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[SMALL THOUGHT] Why I Refuse to Cry in a Lot of Occassion

Well, why not?

Ini sebenarnya hanya selenting pikiran yang mampir saat sedang nganggur (baca: ada kerjaan tapi mager). “Kenapa cewek (seperti halnya saya) hobi banget menangis?”

Kalau ditulis demikian, sudah pasti ada cewek-cewek lain di luar sana yang protes: “saya ngga hobi nangis, kok!” Saya juga setuju. Saya juga ngga hobi nangis. Meski mungkin orang berpandangan lain, bagi saya menangis itu sebenarnya agak sia-sia.

Walau begitu, bukan berarti saya ngga pernah menangis. Lebih tepatnya, saya menolak untuk menangis. Bagaimanapun caranya, saya akan berupaya untuk tidak menangis terutama karena masalah hidup, ya (you know, misal gara-gara dimarahin Mamah atau gara-gara dijahatin temen, menurut saya kalau bisa ngga nangis, ya, jangan sampe nangislah).

Agak sia-sia karena ada, sih, yang memang jadi lebih lega dan lebih bisa berpikir jernih setelah menangis. Jadi, menangis ga sepenuhnya sia-sia, kan? Sayangnya, buat saya masih terbilang sia-sia juga.

crying

 

Pertama, menangis ngga menyelesaikan masalah. Oke, habis nangis kamu jadi bisa berpikir jernih. FINETapi berapa lama yang kamu habiskan dengan “menangis untuk berpikir jernih” itu tadi? Mendingan buat mikir gimana caranya itu masalah bisa selesai dengan damai tanpa perlu menguras air mata.

Kedua, menangis itu CAPEK. Air mata keluar ngga hanya dari mata aja, tetapi juga meler keluar dari hidung, bahu-membahu dengan ingus kental yang bikin kamu semakin tersengal-sengal. Mau napas jadinya susah, malah megap-megap jelek banget. Dada juga jadi sesak, tubuh berguncang. Kesel banget sampai kepala berdenyut-denyut mau pecah. Seengga ada, tuh, nikmat-nikmatnya menurut saya.

Ketiga, menangis itu menjatuhkan imej kita sebagai cewek kuat. Dan ngga semua cowok tahu bagaimana caranya menenangkan cewek yang menangis. Ngga usah jauh-jauh, temen cewekmu sendiri mungkin juga bakal bingung kalau kamu menangis. Yang ada kamu malah jadinya nyusahin orang lain, kan? Ha.

Oke, mungkin sebagian pikiran yang mampir ini kedengeran sangat reklusif dan menggigit perasaan sensitif orang yang baca. Tapi ini murni cuma pendapat saya tentang menangis. Terutama nangisin cowok, ya… Astaga. Amit-amitlah, pokoknya.

Lalu gimana jika orang tersayang kita meninggal, misalnya? Masa ngga boleh nangis juga. Well, buat saya… mereka meninggal bukan untuk ditangisin, tapi diikhlasin. Ngga baik juga, kan, nangis tersedu-sedan kenceng-kenceng saat kematian? Boleh nangis secara pribadi, di ruang yang tertutup, atau waktu beribadah. Semua orang boleh-boleh saja nangis, cuma ga usah berlebihan dan dipamer-pamerkan bahwa kamu orang paling sengsara di dunia. Plis, deh, gaesssss… -_- (Dan sekali lagi ini semua prinsip saya sendiri, saya ngga memberimu advis untuk melakukan hal yang sama.)

Wistful thinking, wistful thinking. Sayangnya, saya ga bisa menolak untuk menangis kalau lagi baca novel, baca manga, nonton drama, atau nonton film. Walau sudah berupaya untuk tidak menangis, jujur aja saya mudah tersentuh sama pengalaman yang fiksional (anehnya, saya bebal banget sama pengalaman-pengalaman menyakitkan yang benar-benar ada di sekitar saya).

Tak terhitung banyaknya saya menangis sesenggukan gara-gara sepotong kalimat dalam film atau novel. Saya ingat banget ketika dulu nonton sebuah film lawas “Pay It Forward”, saya nangis sampai sesenggukan, sampe handuk basah kuyup, bantal basah kuyup. Cuma gara-gara satu film, itu aja cuma bagian akhir-akhirnya. Giliran kakek saya meninggal, saya dirundung sedih yang jauh lebih dalam tapi ga nangis sama sekali. Pas mau tidur sempat setetes, dua tetes. Tapi, ya, cuma gitu aja. Ini aneh tapi juga sering terjadi di kehidupan saya.

Mungkin ini terjadi karena saya sudah sulit percaya lagi, ya, sama sesama manusia. Hahaha. Kadang yang keluar di media atau yang di depan mata sukanya sekadar imej. Pas tahunya di belakang, ya, ternyata tidak sesuai dengan apa yang ditampilkan. Alhasil, saya jadi semacam “bebal” dengan berbagai berita dan cerita yang saya terima dari orang lain (dan tentu saja media).

Karena terbiasa bebal itu tadi maka saya (yang sebenernya sangat sensitif) jadi ngga baperan (seperti, you-know-him, yang dikit-dikit baper). Namun ketika saya membaca sebuah novel, saya masuk dan meletakkan posisi saya di dalam sepatu tokoh utama. Ya, secara cobaan di dunia fiksi lebih besar dan ga masuk akal ketimbang di dunia (imagine that you are Percy Jackson, which has the worst luck of the world, like srsly) makanya saya kalau nangis atau baper gara-gara cerita suka lebih kenceng. Lagian karakter di cerita fiksi itu in someway relatable dan juga in someway is truer than real people.

So. That’s it for today exceptional rants. Baru selesai baca dari atas sampai bawah. Man, I think something is very wrong with my brain. -_-

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My New ID Card!

LOL! What the hell with this post? It doesn’t even look like a proper post. Huh, me and my random thought…

Have you ever heard of electronic ID card? For it was very new for me. Indonesian government has changed the ordinary ID card into this systematic ID card which HOPEFULLY would prevent identity theft and tax cheater that occurs frequently. I was thinking about something crazily gadgety (is that even a word?) but of course it wasn’t meet my expectation. LOL.

The right one is the BEFORE pic of my identity card. The left one is my NEWEST identity card; it's an electronic ID. I doesn't seem like electronic-device-friendly though.

The right one is the BEFORE pic of my identity card. The left one is my NEWEST identity card; it’s an electronic ID. I doesn’t seem like electronic-device-friendly though.

The pic was kind of blurry. LOL. I need to blur it. The previous version of ID card is very ordinary looking; like it was printed in small textured blue paper and get laminated. Not so nice, right? The electronic ID card though looks much better. It has a special chip that contains our information digitally like fingerprints, retina recognitions and such. They have a Wiki page about it. Well, it’s kind of cool anyway. The lame ID card now is replaced with a credit-card-look-a-like card. LOL.

See, it’s not even a proper post and you still read it! XD