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[SMALL THOUGHT] Why I Refuse to Cry in a Lot of Occassion

Well, why not?

Ini sebenarnya hanya selenting pikiran yang mampir saat sedang nganggur (baca: ada kerjaan tapi mager). “Kenapa cewek (seperti halnya saya) hobi banget menangis?”

Kalau ditulis demikian, sudah pasti ada cewek-cewek lain di luar sana yang protes: “saya ngga hobi nangis, kok!” Saya juga setuju. Saya juga ngga hobi nangis. Meski mungkin orang berpandangan lain, bagi saya menangis itu sebenarnya agak sia-sia.

Walau begitu, bukan berarti saya ngga pernah menangis. Lebih tepatnya, saya menolak untuk menangis. Bagaimanapun caranya, saya akan berupaya untuk tidak menangis terutama karena masalah hidup, ya (you know, misal gara-gara dimarahin Mamah atau gara-gara dijahatin temen, menurut saya kalau bisa ngga nangis, ya, jangan sampe nangislah).

Agak sia-sia karena ada, sih, yang memang jadi lebih lega dan lebih bisa berpikir jernih setelah menangis. Jadi, menangis ga sepenuhnya sia-sia, kan? Sayangnya, buat saya masih terbilang sia-sia juga.

crying

 

Pertama, menangis ngga menyelesaikan masalah. Oke, habis nangis kamu jadi bisa berpikir jernih. FINETapi berapa lama yang kamu habiskan dengan “menangis untuk berpikir jernih” itu tadi? Mendingan buat mikir gimana caranya itu masalah bisa selesai dengan damai tanpa perlu menguras air mata.

Kedua, menangis itu CAPEK. Air mata keluar ngga hanya dari mata aja, tetapi juga meler keluar dari hidung, bahu-membahu dengan ingus kental yang bikin kamu semakin tersengal-sengal. Mau napas jadinya susah, malah megap-megap jelek banget. Dada juga jadi sesak, tubuh berguncang. Kesel banget sampai kepala berdenyut-denyut mau pecah. Seengga ada, tuh, nikmat-nikmatnya menurut saya.

Ketiga, menangis itu menjatuhkan imej kita sebagai cewek kuat. Dan ngga semua cowok tahu bagaimana caranya menenangkan cewek yang menangis. Ngga usah jauh-jauh, temen cewekmu sendiri mungkin juga bakal bingung kalau kamu menangis. Yang ada kamu malah jadinya nyusahin orang lain, kan? Ha.

Oke, mungkin sebagian pikiran yang mampir ini kedengeran sangat reklusif dan menggigit perasaan sensitif orang yang baca. Tapi ini murni cuma pendapat saya tentang menangis. Terutama nangisin cowok, ya… Astaga. Amit-amitlah, pokoknya.

Lalu gimana jika orang tersayang kita meninggal, misalnya? Masa ngga boleh nangis juga. Well, buat saya… mereka meninggal bukan untuk ditangisin, tapi diikhlasin. Ngga baik juga, kan, nangis tersedu-sedan kenceng-kenceng saat kematian? Boleh nangis secara pribadi, di ruang yang tertutup, atau waktu beribadah. Semua orang boleh-boleh saja nangis, cuma ga usah berlebihan dan dipamer-pamerkan bahwa kamu orang paling sengsara di dunia. Plis, deh, gaesssss… -_- (Dan sekali lagi ini semua prinsip saya sendiri, saya ngga memberimu advis untuk melakukan hal yang sama.)

Wistful thinking, wistful thinking. Sayangnya, saya ga bisa menolak untuk menangis kalau lagi baca novel, baca manga, nonton drama, atau nonton film. Walau sudah berupaya untuk tidak menangis, jujur aja saya mudah tersentuh sama pengalaman yang fiksional (anehnya, saya bebal banget sama pengalaman-pengalaman menyakitkan yang benar-benar ada di sekitar saya).

Tak terhitung banyaknya saya menangis sesenggukan gara-gara sepotong kalimat dalam film atau novel. Saya ingat banget ketika dulu nonton sebuah film lawas “Pay It Forward”, saya nangis sampai sesenggukan, sampe handuk basah kuyup, bantal basah kuyup. Cuma gara-gara satu film, itu aja cuma bagian akhir-akhirnya. Giliran kakek saya meninggal, saya dirundung sedih yang jauh lebih dalam tapi ga nangis sama sekali. Pas mau tidur sempat setetes, dua tetes. Tapi, ya, cuma gitu aja. Ini aneh tapi juga sering terjadi di kehidupan saya.

Mungkin ini terjadi karena saya sudah sulit percaya lagi, ya, sama sesama manusia. Hahaha. Kadang yang keluar di media atau yang di depan mata sukanya sekadar imej. Pas tahunya di belakang, ya, ternyata tidak sesuai dengan apa yang ditampilkan. Alhasil, saya jadi semacam “bebal” dengan berbagai berita dan cerita yang saya terima dari orang lain (dan tentu saja media).

Karena terbiasa bebal itu tadi maka saya (yang sebenernya sangat sensitif) jadi ngga baperan (seperti, you-know-him, yang dikit-dikit baper). Namun ketika saya membaca sebuah novel, saya masuk dan meletakkan posisi saya di dalam sepatu tokoh utama. Ya, secara cobaan di dunia fiksi lebih besar dan ga masuk akal ketimbang di dunia (imagine that you are Percy Jackson, which has the worst luck of the world, like srsly) makanya saya kalau nangis atau baper gara-gara cerita suka lebih kenceng. Lagian karakter di cerita fiksi itu in someway relatable dan juga in someway is truer than real people.

So. That’s it for today exceptional rants. Baru selesai baca dari atas sampai bawah. Man, I think something is very wrong with my brain. -_-

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[LIFE UPDATE] Got Flooded with Codes, OMG!

I’ve been MIA for the past years. I mean, like, MIA from blogging. I’m not a continuous blogger baby, tho, so being MIA is just alright. HA. Also, every time I want to write continuously, my plan is always failing so… yeah, better go with the flow. -_-

codes

I still think that I need to do this [LIFE UPDATE] once in  month or so but, whatever-lah…

Newest LIFE UPDATE from me is because recently I got flooded with codes. No, no… Not codes from boys or friends, or bribikan; I mean literal codes. NO, NOT MORSE CODE! Those, you know, HTML and CSS and Bootstrap and Javascript codes… T_T

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So, it was started at November 8, 2016. A friend of mine (and my occasional employer) asked me to help her to make a website: an online shop, at that. She is specialized in any kind of K-Pop merchandise and she got a very, very huge number of follower. It’s getting hard for her to juggle selling and schooling, so she decided to make a website and employed me as a web designer, web builder, and also an admin.

I said that I never make an online shop before. However, she insisted and I saw this as an opportunity to develop myself and also my skill. So, it began.

The thing is, I also need to juggle website building with my current job at that time, a ghost writer for this website that is made by a Russian company. It was tough and I still need to do research about how to build an online shop.

The first problem is that I have to work on five kind of articles for my writing job. It took 1 to 2 hours of researching online, writing, editing pictures, and submitting my work just for 1 article. I needed minimal of 5 hours and maximal of 10 hours to finish my writing job. I barely survived every day: I drank many glasses of coffee, I got up very early, my brain is burnt a lot, and I got emotionally and physically exhausted every single day. So I decided that this need a solution.

The solution came fast enough. I got a friend who also need additional pocket money. So, she joined the wagon and we ran ablaze with writings. I still needed to do most editing. Editing pictures and words, and re-checking and submitting her work was taking time but it cut a lot of my work time: I only need half an hour to an hour to get all of it ready. So then, I got a better use of my 24 hours.

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The second problem is that I, by any kind of means, never got in touch with online shopping platforms. This one was a very huge obstacle for me. Well, shopping in websites was not a stranger for me; I’m an avid online shopper. However, making a shopping website is in a whole new different level. I understood that I need to learn this from a BIG ZERO very, very fast; faster than what I can imagine.

The third problem led by the second problem is that I need to find the best platform for this website. Getting a hosting and domain name is the easiest part of this website building, I tell you. It only took a few days at most; no more than three days if everything went well. If you got confused just by that, imagine to have to dive down naked in a freezing sea called Google just to get to know these shopping platforms. So, then I got three big platforms that online shopping website use: WooCommerce, Magento, and Prestashop.

The fourth problem is to decide what platform should I use. My employer only asked me to make it chic and lovely using pink and blue. So, I used a lot of my quota to do extensive research for every single platform. WooCommerce apparently is a plugin of WordPress. You need to install WordPress and then install the plugin to run your online shop. Reviews said it will get heavier over times, the security is also basic. Magento is the most complicated one I see. The snippet of control panels are magnificent it got me dizzy but it boasts great customization and better security than the other two. Prestashop is in the middle. The back office dashboard is simple enough, the front page is cleaner but also a little bit hard in customization. I chose Magento. This research did take a lot of time because from zero to nothing near being a hero, man… It was like uncovering onion layer by layer; tricky and makes your eyes water. Also with all the writing I did, I think I spend almost a month just to chose Magento.

The fifth problem is to understand Magento. This is kind of suck… Magento is harder than you can imagine. Yes, it’s very customizable and also have a lot of free user-developed theme BUT it is also very, very complicated. I felt like a fool as I scan over its dashboard in real (not via Youtube) and try to understand the logic behind all of those thingamajigg-y buttons. So after several days, I gave up. Since I needed to do this fast, giving up is the first thing to do if I wanted to be as savvy as possible.

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The fourth problem happened after I installed Prestashop. Prestashop is way easier than Magento. However, I still have zero knowledge about it and, of course, need to do more of extensive research. The dashboard is pretty much like WordPress but with different variable. I surfed all the tutorial and forums to get it rightly installed and ready to be ran and customized. But how to? Well, another extensive research, of course. However, I got pass this and ready to look for the right module (WordPress called them plugins, Prestashop called them modules) for the shipping counter service. We had agreed to use only JNE so I ran around the web to find one cheap enough but not too cheap so that it won’t be a dud. I did get one and got to installed the module in the web. It took more than a week to configure all of these but, hey, at least it worked.

The fifth problem: I found that Prestashop is a bit hard to customize unless you know its nook and cranny. It’s HEAVY! Like, srsly, it’s VERY HEAVY! I was baffled. It did not take many space mind you, only 180 MB in my server but how the eff that this was so heavy? So, I innocently put this keyword on Google “prestashop back office very heavy” and found how the right trick to make it less heavier (of course, after several threads and by several I meant as tonnes; and also it took days, I tell you). It’s very springy right now! Customizing the web got easier after the back office went faster. However, there came another problem.

The sixth problem is that while I customize the look of the web while feeling out how to do everything, the JNE modules got wonky. It supposed to be sent from M Town but the price is not matching with the one in JNE’s website. I have seek help from the modules developer, he said “Yes, we will see into your problem!” However, no help really came. Customizing the web was hard enough and this developer was not really helping; I have asked him a few times in the span on two weeks but nothing really happened so I got fed up and called my employer to let me look for another modules. She said yes and I ran around Prestashop forums to get a new one. Readily found one with twice the price of the first one. However, the developer was kinder and professional; and everything set just in the span of 24 hours. Such an accomplishment.

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The seventh one, of course, to finish what I have started and, I tell you, it is a whole ride of a roller-coaster. I met so many obstacles I think I lost count. Ha. The month rolled into February and I still have a lot to do. Well, it was done for almost 80%, I believe. However, since I’m a noob… everything is still very, very rough at the edge. It served its purpose to let people buy products but aesthetically still need improvement. Inspecting the page one by one has been one of the most arduous job I did (I still do this today too), looking for the variable behind all that jazz of HTML and CSS codes. This problem is not solved yet by the time I finish this post. LOL. I feel like I’m going crazy so I deliberately taking a break and decide to write a long-ass post to celebrate my procrastination. BANZAI!

That’s all for today, I think. I don’t think I’m gonna write more tomorrow but probably will binge writing after this post. Like, need to be as savvy as possible. Ha. Do you think I’m being dramatic? Have any of you try setting up a Prestashop website? Well, if you have. Congratulations, you gains so much experience it leveled you up in life! If you have not, you have to decide whether you want to set it up by yourself, by using other service, or NO, IT’S NOT REALLY MY FORTE. You can always tell me if you have this kind of life changing experience happened in your very life; I’m willing to listen. 😀

P.S.

If you are willing to see my mess of a website, you can go to YUHUNSHOP. I made the logo a long time ago and, thank God, I still have the CorelDraw file!

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The First Torture

motomamam

The First Torture

stop asking questions such as “how many calories is this?” or “should i eat, should i eat not?” you’re just wasting your time. moreover, you should not worry about calories because life is outside your bathroom scale.

life is sweet, life is sour, life is refreshing, life is toothache-inducing, life is whatever you want it to be. be happy, be sweet, and enjoy #motomamam.

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