No, it’s not just another rants. It’s an educational rants. (WHAT?)
And, no, I’m not getting married… yet.
To be honest, I never thought that this question will be my designated Question of the Year; and it’s still the eight day of February. It’s kind of funny but also very relatable.
There is this kind of conception in Indonesia that asking people whether they are gonna get married is, by any means, not rude nor offending nor invading someone’s privacy. In fact, this is a common question that is asked to you to open a conversation; like… in everyday life. LOL.
Of course, this typical question has also spurs depression for people who is not married yet (and if you are in your thirties; well, you are doomed) and made people desperate to look for someone to be asked of marriage. Like, you just want to get married just because you want to get rid of people of asking you this question, hahaha. No, it’s not something saddening, of course. Whatever life you live is your own.
And whatever life I live is my own.
Like any other people in my age, I also get this question. Not a lot, per se, but it is also getting more frequent by day. The funny thing is, this pressure does not come from my own family (not from my mother, nor father, nor sister) and not even from my extended family (my aunts, my uncles: all are cool with it) but from my mom’s friends (you know, mothers do meddle in people affair harder than their own) and from my friends (which is understandable because they care about my well-being).
Fortunately, this never get into me. In fact, I don’t really think about it. Like, it’s way on the back of my mind and will only resurface when someone asked. It’s only in the surface for a while. As soon as the topic is changed, I forget about it immediately. (I wonder if it’s a bad thing… LOL.)
Like human bound to be death anytime, some people also bound to be married too. However, I’ve been unfamiliar with common conception happened in my surrounding as I bury myself in my room working. Contrary to what people think about me, I don’t read that much too but I build my own perspective in “How to Move Forward in Life”. My own lifeline, my own life preserver. I also feel very disconnected with others.
In my head, I never put myself inside the boxes. I never categorized myself as a young woman or an old one. I never see myself as an adult or a childish one. I don’t mind when people called me selfish or egoistic. I don’t mind if people take me as an unforgiving person or revengeful. My life without these imaginary boxes become very easy-going, very free.
With this disconnection, I get very aware that what is going on in my head and perception is not in line with others. Hence when people started to fuss about my date of marriage, I don’t even think about it (or contemplate about it).
I also not yet experiencing what is like to be falling in love. Love between man and woman is something that is very mysterious to me. How people care to each other in that kind of intimate level is very strange, very… hard to understand. How can you actually live your life to live with someone else and be devoted to him and to take care of him while taking care of yourself and your home and probably your children? Sometimes I think about it and found it very… scary, in lack of a better word.
This is also the reason of me being super-skeptical when people offer me to be introduced with certain guys. Like, srsly, without the needed preamble; they just give me this small snippet of a guy and his close family, added with something like “he’s a good man, very kind, and also has a very stable income you will never starved!”
Well, I mean… I’m not offended really but it’s like you, as my friend, look at me as a girl that can be bought with a good income. Like, srsly. What is his good quality? What are his good habit? Is he a romantic? Is he good with kids? Does he snore? Does he bad in arranging his own closet? Does he hate to take a bath? Does he love to do charity? Does he religious? Does he have an open mind? What does he do when he have a spare time? How about his family? I don’t ask you, guys, to give some CVs and proposal letters; but please have some semblance of sense. I’m gonna marry him (for the rest of my life) and all of his family is in the package; not his income. -_-
I never see marriage as an easy-peasy thing. You got to do it when you are ready, not when you are forced to be ready or when you are in shame. You need to be devoted too, and all that jazz come from your sincere heart. Unfortunately, I don’t think I’m ready yet. Fortunately, I’m keeping an open mind over this matter too.
Like, I probably get sold if he talks about books or games, or anime (HA!) or talks about anything without being pretentious. If he has an open mind, respect for other opinions, and also a big heart; well, I probably get sold too. HAHAHAH. I’m not gonna enjoy any conversation when a man seriously BOAST about his life achievement all day long. Such a turn-off. There are many thing to talk about, why do you need to boast about yourself that much. Man, we can talk about whether the Earth is flat or not, we can also talk about the place you wanted to travel the most.
Anyway, do you think the Earth is flat? Why not? HAHAHA.
No. This is not an invitation for you, guys, to shoved your friends on me. -_-